I've never given much thought to where I see myself in 10 years. It was always annoying when I gotten that survey in school. "Where do you see yourself in 10 years? High school? College?" "What about a career?" Um, hello? I'm in the 5th grade, how the heck am I suppose to know when all I'm thinking of is getting out at 3:30 so I can go watch a rerun of Catdog.
Fast forward to 11 years later, and bam!!! I'm in college, a few years away from graduating (thank the heavens) I like school and learning, but after 15 years of it, it gets tiring after a while. Like eating the same type of pizza over, and over, and over again. But now that I have my career goal taken care of lets talk about something fun that I've never been lucky about: love.
Sure I see guys who are cute, adorable, intellectual, smart, funny; heck, even all five of those traits. But I don't know if there is even someone out there for me. And I don't even know if I believe in it anymore. I know I'm still young and I haven't been really 'out there' as some people might say, but it's hard to find someone here, especially in a town that is made for retirees, married couples, middle-aged single people. Not for a single, college student. Maybe there's a reason why I'm suppose to be alone in this life. I don't know if I believe in past lives or reincarnation or whatever. All I know for sure right now is I want to enjoy life as much as possible, but it's difficult sometimes when you want happiness like your friends who has someone to love. Or maybe if you learn to love yourself first then someone else will. But then truth be told, you wouldn't hurt yourself when you break off a relationship. Just grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's and put in your copy of your favorite Disney movie and you're good to go. After a few crying sessions of course.
With love there comes a future, oui? Good. So in the future. What's the best possibility that I want to happen for sure? I want to work, a career that I love and I can't wait to start again the next day after I clock out. What's the saying again? It's not a job if you enjoy it, right? So I want to enjoy it, which I know I will, so I'm not complaining on that part. I know I'm a dedicated worker. I give my all and the best I can do. So something that realistically I want to happen is to get married. I know, how shocking. It all really depends on the guy I guess, on the type of wedding I want. The cake. The music. The flowers. Even the dress, sheesh, with all this thinking I don't know if I want to get married anymore (jk).
And with a marriage comes a baby. They're cute. They're adorable. And they're so innocent and happy. There's a naturalness that you have to protect them from all harm. There was and still are some phases that I don't want kids. But really though, I do. I have a few possible names picked out already. Poor babies. I might want two, possible third as an option. It all depends really. I want at least one of each gender. And most important of all, I want them to be happy. What I want in return is a healthy relationship with them. I'd want them to know that they can talk to me about anything they want and they won't get reprimanded for it. I'll give them advice, solicited or not.
I don't know anything anymore. I mean, I can have a happy career with nobody by my side and no kids. I can have a marriage with no kids and still be happy. I can have kids with no partner. Either of those choices can be a great option for me. I'm not very picky with it comes to it, really. But I'd want to have all my career, someone who loves me and a child as my number one goal. So, 10 years later I guess this is where I stand.
"It is my fate and perhaps my temperament to sign agreement with fools." ~E.M. Forster
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